Am I running short of Life or Iam already Late?
When you figure out that what you have been doing for the longest time is not what you wish to do for the rest of your life, you feel the shift.
I am 36 and figuring out that what I did in these 36 years is not what I want to do for the rest of the life I am left with. Looking at Nature’s annoyance towards Humans, I shrivel up. I feel I am running short of time. At 36 when I have diverted my path to what I can call my Calling, I am doubtful. Not about my Calling but whether I will have enough of me to serve it. Whether I will make up for this new endeavour that has hit me lately.
It feels like I have so much in my head that I can work on but the time that is slipping like sand from my hands haunts me like crazy.
I feel I want to win the world and the irony is the world is already a winner. But I am someone who is still daring to participate in the race, clueless whether there will be any audience for this race, any applauds for this race or not.
Despite these scary thoughts, I am trying to take the leap of faith. The faith that even if I am short of time, even if I am already late and even if it’s the last hour of the planet, I shall make my running so flamboyant and majestic that everything and everyone shall pause to witness this race.
Life makes you go through its ebbs and flows, to finally make you understand its meaning and purpose. It takes a long period to find the purpose and then a lot from you to add meaning to this purpose. So have I gone through a period that churned everything inside me? But then it has first shaken me and now leaving me like water off of the duck’s back.
The churning was unbearable but then juices are made only after the fruit is crushed well.
No matter how much time I am allotted, I will keep myself blindfolded to it. What I only want to keep my eye on is my Purpose. I might be very short of time but that does not limit me, all I now feel is that I am not short of what I had been always the unstoppable instinct